ONE OF THE QUIET WAYS WE BUILD STRESS IS WHEN BECOME ENTANGLED IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT ALIGN WITH US BECAUSE WE ARE UNCLEAR OF OUR VALUES. 

In an effort to be liked, kind, good, easy going or non judgemental we go along with things that were never meant for us. 

We accept and tolerate situations which on a deeper level cause us stress, anxiety or we might even feel hatred towards or be disgusted by. 

It begins by ignoring or not being clear about our values and boundaires and we adapt more and more to accepting everything, everyone and every experience in the hopes of being popular or respected and we completely lose ourselves in the process. 

These days we create communities based on our preferences, or our identity or a pass time we enjoy and we think that is enough to meet people like us. 

And often at first, it is. 

The mutual connection and shared interest feels good. 

But as we get to know people or the group more we begin to see all the ways we aren't actually the same or in agreement. 

But through fear of losing the connections we go along, stay silent and even try adapt ourselves to make up for the difference. 

This causes a growing level of stress and anxiety that can become difficult to pin point or understand. 

Some examples of how this might look could be... 

You join a yoga class and make friends. 

You're going because you want a regular exercise routine but in the group others might be there to relax or for a spiritual practice. 

You hate the incense and music they use there but you like the vibe so don't ever say anything and you go along. 

Over time you realise you've adopted some of the habits of listening to music or using incense when you practice yoga at home. 

You start to find you have resistance to doing the yoga and develop headaches and fatigue. 

It is only to later you realise its the smell and noise that is making you feel sick, tired and drained and now you no longer get any benefit from the yoga practice. 

Or it might look like this... 

You decide to spend some time in an intentional community because you are seeking space to explore your creativity and to learn to grow food. 

But when you're there you notice a culture with a rota and regular routine you're expected to abide by and the community has a casual undertone of open sexuality or drug use. 

It doesn't suit you but you like the people now and the beautiful space so you spend months trying to fit into the expectations by lowering your boundaries to be more physically responsive, experiment with things you weren't really interested in. 

Over time you becoming anxious, depressed, angry even and you don't understand why. 

The community start to pick at your lack of contribution and want to have meetings and conversations highlighting it but despite trying to go along with what is agreed you just feel worse. 

Eventually you leave thinking you have some sort of disorder or illness. 

Or another way this plays out might be at work. 

You love painting and it really helps you to relax so you decide to start a business and host art workshops for stress therapy. 

The first few go great and you find it really satisfying but over time you begin to feel drained being around so many people and get bored with all the explaining you have to do. 

You start to attract less clients to the workshops and feel like you're not doing enough so you start to go on social media to try promote them. 

You get sucked down a social media rabbit hole and spend months learning social media and marketing ideas about how to promote your workshops. 

But it doesn't work and not enough people come along to make the workshops viable, you're drained and bored by your whole business losing all interest in the creative process. 

Now you're stressed, feeling really depressed and don't have an outlet for yourself to help you feel better. 

One of the solutions is to get clear about exactly what it is you value and want from life. 

Get clear on exactly what does and doesn't support you and where your limits are. 

You get clear about when and how to express those limits and stop going along with what doesn't feel right for you. 

Many coaches, mentors or therapists will try and give all sorts of techniques in order to help you better cope with the effects or manifested symptoms from lowering your boundaries. This is why my Mama Bear is different. 

In my 6 month mentorship programme getting clear on your values and boundaires is one of the main things I help stressed, creative women to figure out in order to go from anxious and confused to clear and focused. We also work on the under currents and deeper meanings of these stresses and the events at the core of your discomfort to develop a life design you can use to become clear about what works for you. 

If this sounds like something you need support with you can use the button below to apply for a place on the programme or read more about Mama Bear Mentorship.