Are You Mentally Ill?

Mental illness is a problem of the mind, directly related to how we think and interpret our circumstances. Mental is a term that directly references the mind, a non-tangible, non-fixed part of ourselves. The mind is not our brain, but there seems to be a lot of lumping the idea of brain chemistry, neurobiology and our mental state together. 

I am not a doctor, but I know enough about mental illness and neurodiversity due to my experiences and research to lead myself (and support others) to find healing and recovery.  I have found that disagreeing with psychiatry, pathologisation, diagnosis culture and labelling moods, emotional processes and states of mind as mental illness was key to my recovery. 

My perspective is considered controversial, but when I began questioning the norm, I found (what I consider and a growing number of other psychologists consider) fake science to reinforce this idea (of brain chemical mental illness or pathologising trauma victims) and perpetuate the system that benefits from it. 

Billions of pounds, dollars and currency are spent on maintaining the establishment, research and pharmaceutical industry, all tied to the idea that people who struggle with life are mentally ill (forever) and need medication to survive. I could write a book about the issue, and maybe I will one day, but for now, this blog is designed to help you (if you are struggling with what you think is mental illness or are questioning a diagnosis) consider an alternative lived experience. One that says, we can recover, naturally and without medication, from many (so-called) mental illnesses. And that what is diagnosed as mental illness could be due to a different core problem. 

To preface, I want to clarify that there is no one “right”, “correct” or “normal” way to think, be, respond to life or feel. We all have unique experiences, viewpoints, temperaments, and environments, and there is no way to standardise or monitor what would be considered normal since we can never know another person's mind or experience. 

Our mind is subjective and ever-changing. And there is no evidence that the mind or our conscious awareness exists solely in the brain. That is all theoretical, and there is no way to prove such things. Other than we know the brain responds when we think or have experiences. But our body also responds, as does our energy field. 

We also all have uniquely developed brain systems, but even our physical body and brain can be changed. There is neuroplasticity involved in how our brain physiologically changes and operates, which can and does change. Under the right circumstances, even in cases of brain injury, healing can and does happen. 

I want to state this first so you can understand my perspective for the post and to open yourself to a new way of seeing your experiences that might help you form a recovery plan. 

Often, mental illness is diagnosed because of a feeling, state of mood, emotion or due to our stressed nervous system responses. Our mind mind and thinking helath may be part of our problem and of course, it isn't straightforward to declare that the mind and our thoughts have no impact on our mood or how we process trauma, but many people are being told they are mentally ill, diagnosed as disordered and told they have life long condions that require medications when healing can happen and recovery is possible for them. 

Many people overcome mental illness, naturally and without medication.

Periods of depression, bouts of anxiousness, obsessive habits, addictions and many other normal responses to the challenges of being human are being used to diagnose ill health. It is normal, usual, and often to be expected to have periods in life where we feel stuck, confused, and low. It is entirely natural to have emotions (even stuck ones) that come and go through different periods of life. It is impossible to go through life without facing some sort of challenge, trauma or grief. We may feel stuck for so long and without the right support, we begin to question our mind and sanity and ask ourselves, “Am I mentally ill?” or “Is there something wrong with me?”

I have been diagnosed with several mental illnesses or disorders in my lifetime since I was a young woman. Now I do not struggle or suffer with any of them or the associated symptoms, beyond normal fluctuations in responding to my circumstances, hormone changes, and general mood changes. 

Labels and diagnoses at times felt like validation when I was struggling, but they didn't lead to any answers, support or help. Especially once I understood the real power of our mind for healing and the negative impact of believing in diagnoses, labels and fixed states of being.

There were times when I was very stuck, low, suicidal, triggered constantly, confused, stressed, unable to move at times, angry, grief-stricken and desperate for help. What I got most of the time from my doctors was unhelpful offers of medication (which, when I did try, had huge negative ripple effects in my life and other associated symptoms), waiting lists for "therapies" or specialists that didn't help, or being dismissed and ignored. All of this led to more distress, new labels and no real solutions or effective treatment for years. More than a decade of my life was affected by this diagnostic, solutionless hamster wheel.

At times, I was a mess, mentally. Or so I thought. Now with hindsight, I can see I was thinking clearly most of the time, my assessment of my situation was correct, and my responses were valid! I did have some ungelpf conditioning to understand, and I have done a lot of work to change my mind system. But I was living in a reality where my trauma was ignored and disregarded, where my symptoms and struggle weren't taken seriously, I had real world problems with money, work or housing at times, I no idea how to process my deep emotions or explain my trauma and wherever I turned for help, what I needed was not provided. I was expected to be “fixed” or magically heal with time, without any investment in my recovery or tangible support to work through my struggles. My story is not unique!

As an intuitive person, I also had unexplainable experiences that I was afraid to declare. I could pick up on energies, I had (what I came to understand as) extra-sensory experiences that included downloads, psychic intuitions and could tap into other realms. I was often afraid my spiritual experiences (if I declared them) would lead to other diagnoses. 

I learned to develop these abilities and control them (through the spiritualist church and my own guidance), which did help me understand my mind and energy system better. As I have healed, I have fewer of these types of experiences. Mostly because I don't choose to have them, use them as and when required, and I protect my energy better, but also potentially because they were required for my healing journey, and now I don’t need them. 

It is important to me to say that without developing and trusting these nudges, and learning discernment to figure out what was helpful, external forces, I may not have found my path to recovery. Combining my spiritual awakening with my mental health and trauma recovery has been a huge part of my journey, and the conventional “science” simply doesn’t allow for that reality and the reality of many other intuitive or spiritually gifted people. 

I have learned, though over time, that not all entities, information is helpful, and it is still our responsibility to figure out what is in our own best interest regarding our mind function, health and spiritual progress. 

My journey to find healing and wellness, to recover and move past my trauma responses, addictions and coping mechanisms has taken time, work and dedication and allowed me the insight and perspective to know the difference between what was and was not mental illness.

If you are feeling stuck in a similar situation, this simple breakdown is designed to help you understand the different problems that might be going on in these circumstances and how you might consider addressing them.

Mental illness - You're having inappropriate thoughts that are directing you to harmful behaviour, affirming badness (without evidence) and are confused (without any influences of stress, trauma or challenging circumstances). This relates to our beliefs, ideas about ourselves based on criticism, other people’s opinions or not rooted in the reality of who we are. This can be deep shame or an ineffective ego that is struggling to maintain itself. You realise you have not been taught how to think in helpful ways. You are actively avoiding seeking available support, despite knowing it might help or against the advice of (trusted) people around you. 

What helps: shadow work (including inner child work and reparenting), belief programming, meditation and mindfulness practices, affirmations, counselling or talking therapy, and good nutrition.

Emotional Processing Problems - You're feeling numb or having extreme emotional responses to irrelevant situations. You're not sure how to move through an emotion and seek soothing behaviour, such as addiction, compulsions or try to keep the feeling down, shut down, tap out, distract yourself or push it away. You don't know how to express how you feel or fear emotions as they present themselves. 

What helps: Emotional skill building, creative expression, mindfulness practice, grounding and nature.

Trauma Responses - You have experienced violence, abuse or drastic life circumstances. You have extreme physical and emotional responses to circumstances that follow a pattern that leave you feeling panicked or anxious. You have flashbacks, repeating past events again and again in your mind and can’t find peace. You feel exhausted after being around others and are generally hyperattuned to others and your environment. You struggle to relax or, at times, feel unable to move or physically restricted by your body. 

What helps: Somatic exercise, shadow work, grounding, validation, nervous system regulation. 

Grief Processing - You have had a significant loss or bereavement. You feel low, lost or uncertain about your future because of this. You feel a video or emptiness that you can not move past, and dwell on the past, feeling uncertain of your future. Periods of deep sadness, fatigue and even anger arise often. 

What helps: Grounding, life design, emotional processing, and talking therapy. 

Relationship, Environment or Support Issues - You have nowhere to go or no one to talk to about how you feel, your thoughts or the people you confide in ignore you or deny your experiences. You question your validity, experience, and often feel like you don't matter or belong. You're left questioning yourself and feel like no one understands you. Or you feel uncomfortable around certain people, behaviours or situations, but no one else seems bothered, and if you mention anything, you're told you are wrong. You have been abused or were raised in abusive or neglectful circumstances. 

What helps: New environments and appropriate relationships, developing communication skills, and understanding boundaries.

Unhelpful Coping Strategy - You feel overwhelmed or underwhelmed by life and choose things that help you feel better initially, but you're noticing they have a negative impact in the long term. You feel strong compulsions towards certain behaviours, places or habits that you do not want to entertain. This might be addiction or behaviour that you feel controls you, but you don't know what else to do.

What helps: Life Design and recovery plan, grounding and creative experimentation, mindfulness practice, self-awareness skills. 

Masking - You never feel like yourself, or that you can be yourself, or you sense you don’t fit in anywhere. You always try to find the “right” things to say, do or be and often seem to get it “wrong” (because you feel uncomfortable with yourself and/or are rejected anyway and feel ashamed or fake regarding your actions). You often feel fake and don't like yourself, who you are, where you are or how you are. You are or suspect you may be considered neurodivergent and have been questioning how that has impacted your life. 

What helps: Authenticity seeking, recovery plan, communication skills, creative experimentation.

Before we diagnose ourselves, seek diagnosis or identify with a disorder or mental illness, it is important to understand what our problem is.

Therapy for mental health should be focused on thought patterns and clear-mindedness.

If we have other problems, but think or affirm to ourselves that we have a mental health problem and are actually in need of different types of support or solutions, inappropriate therapy can make our symptoms or situation worse. It can cause additional stress or confusion and delay our recovery.

Making sure we are seeking the right support makes all the difference for our healing journey. To be clearer on what support you need, the root of the problems you are facing or the symptoms you are managing, you can find benefit by asking yourself questions like:

• Have I had a significant loss recently? (This could be a grief process)

• Have I faced trauma experiences that I think of often and have not processed? 

• Am I living in difficult or stressful circumstances?

• Is my problem in my body and physical reality, or does it only exist in thought?

• Are my habits, behaviours, and choices creating, perpetuating or significantly contributing to my problem?

• Am I taking appropriate care of myself (body, nutrition, fitness) through my daily routines and habits?

• Could my hormones or phase of life be impacting my circumstances?

• How long have I been living with these symptoms, and when did they begin?

Doctors are not gods; they have also been educated from a very specific perspective and may have their own biases. We are allowed to question our doctors, any diagnosis and ask about our treatment plan. If you are feeling like you would like to challenge your doctor or diagnosis but are not sure what to ask, consider questions like:

• What is my long-term recovery plan?

• What effective alternatives are there?

• Could trauma responses or grief processing be a part of my condition, and how do I get support to work through or heal that?

• What percentage of people with my diagnosis who follow your suggested treatments recover? (No longer need medication or support)

You may not get the response you want or would like, but the response you do get to your question can help to inform your decisions when seeking appropriate support and, ultimately, creating a recovery plan for yourself. 

We do not always need to seek advice or follow the guidance of doctors. We are responsible for our health and well-being, and if we have a strong intuition that our treatment or diagnosis is not appropriate, following it may be more harmful for us. Trusting our instincts and intuition and being honest with ourselves through the healing and recovery process is vital as part of our personal development. 

It can feel intimidating or confusing to challenge our mindset or strongly integrated ideas of society and authorities, or our doctors. But if our health and well-being are at stake, it might be the very decision that leads to our healing. 

We are all responsible for how we respond to the circumstances of our life, and when we can question and clarify what are problems are, what might cause them and seek correct and appropriate support, we are more likely to find the healing and recovery we want for long-term wellness. 

Recommended Support at Love School

If you found this post helpful and think you might benefit from additional support, Love School can offer an alternative healing path. Through life design, shadow work and ecosystem mindset, you may be able to address your problems yourself and find clarity through the process for the right treatments, therapies and support you need. 

We recommend:
Complete Mental Makeover to explore shadow work and recondition your mind for wellness. 

Recovery By Design for understanding life design and creating a recovery plan for yourself. 

If you want to deep dive into recovery for lifelong skill-building and recovery, the Love School Curriculum can support your personal development journey.