Grief, Love & Recovery

Grief is the natural process of letting go. It’s how our mind, heart, and energy respond when something important leaves our lives. Think of grief as a wave of emotion that rises, rolls over you, and then recedes. It can include feelings like sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief. Grief isn’t just about losing someone. It’s about changing, shifting, and detaching from what once was.

When you love, you open yourself up to vulnerability. That vulnerability creates intimacy and is part of developing a deep and meaningful connection. But it also means you create attachments to people, ideas, or certain phases of life. When these attachments break, and we are left with a sense of lack or loss and a grieving process begins. 

It’s a sign you loved deeply, a response to the risk we take when we open our hearts. In most lifetimes, the more you love, the more you’re prepared to grieve.

Most think of grief only when someone passes away. But it shows up in many forms. Breaking up a relationship, losing a job, or even shifting beliefs can trigger grief. For instance, when a child leaves home or a career ends, we might mourn their absence or the role we had once fulfilled. We feel a lack and a sense of aloneness as we have to shift and change ideas of who we are or realign our identity to new realities.  

These moments challenge us to let go of the past and accept new paths.

When we grieve, we cycle through stages, not in a predictable linear or measurable process, but more of an adventure that has some expected turning points that help us to navigate a journey toward a destination of feeling more whole again. 

You might feel denial and avoid what’s happening, then feel angry at times, try and create situations to avoid or change the circumstances or begin to feel stuck in sadness and the grip of depression before finding peace and acceptance of the loss as we become more ready to move on.

These steps are not fixed. Many go back and forth, we might wake feeling happiness as we remember the good times, the peaks and perks of the thing we had, which could be followed by sadness and despair as we remember it has gone, and those memories are part of an old story.

The best way to move through grief is to accept the process of it, acknowledge this is what our experience is, requires and how we truly feel and are responding. Allow yourself to cry, scream, or sit quietly. Ask yourself what these feelings teach you. Don’t push emotions away. Instead, listen to yourself, connect with the sensations, breathe and observe them. It’s okay to feel lost or overwhelmed. Doing so helps you let go of what you have been trying to hold on to or hold in.

I have found through my experiences of grief that suppressing feelings makes the cycle last longer. Learning to embrace, welcome and feel through emotions with presence, compassion, and nurture seems to allow for the acceptance to emerge more profoundly and can aid recovery or speed up the healing process. 

Resistance, avoidance and repression, although it may feel natural, sensible or welcome at times, have in the past kept me stuck between denial and depression and struggle to move through the process with more ease. 

I found my body, my heart and soul wanted to grieve. I wanted to feel the loss, acknowledge the love we had shared, and mourn the memories that were fading. It was a way to honour my experience, their existence and the meaning of the connection or attachment formed with the thing I was grieving. It seemed to make it all more complete. As though, without the grief, I was cheating them, cheating myself out of a full expression of the experience and truth. 

When we reach a point of acceptance, healing and mending can begin. Acceptance doesn’t mean liking what happened. It’s about acknowledging what is choosing to be present with the emergence of what might be renewed through the process. 

Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or prayer can help with this as you surrender, energy flows, and emotions begin to fade naturally. Grief often comes in waves. Right after a loss, relief might be replaced by sadness. Anniversaries and memories can trigger renewed emotion, but the acceptance allows you to feel what arises, again and again. Be gentle and patient with your healing journey.

Spiritually, grief is more than just emotional pain. It’s an invitation to look inside. It uncovers parts of ourselves we hide, like fears or wounds. When we sit with grief, we learn about impermanence, face a part of reality that everything changes and nothing lasts forever. Grief pushes us to develop patience, compassion, and unconditional love as we feel the cost of creation and the precious nature of life. 

When grief touches our core, it shows what we value most. Perhaps you mourn a lost friendship because it represented trust. Or maybe you miss your past self because you felt safe then. Each loss points to what we hold dear. These lessons guide us to our true purpose and help us understand what truly matters.

Many spiritual traditions see love as unconditional. In this view, everything we love is part of the divine plan, so when we grieve, we tap into that divine love, which never truly leaves us. Love is eternal and cyclical, like the Creator’s process of birth, death, and rebirth.

Life’s constant change is a spiritual lesson. Every loss pushes our soul to grow, like a dance of giving and receiving. The more we accept impermanence, the freer we become. Grief becomes a pathway to higher consciousness should we choose to embrace it.

Facing grief with consciousness makes you stronger, deepening self-awareness as a powerful tool for spiritual growth. For example, many who go through loss find new purpose and clarity as grief pushes them to get to know themselves better and find their true voice. We can use the core messages of our grief, the reason we feel such a profound loss, a clues to what we truly value in life. When we know this, we can choose to refocus our attention and rebuild from the loss something new, aligned and important to us. 

Your attachment style can affect how you handle loss. Avoidant types might shut down to avoid pain. Anxious types may cling tightly, fearing abandonment, but we don’t have to go through the process alone. Becoming aware of our patterns and how we are responding to loss, and therefore how we are showing up in a strong attachment, can serve our personal growth. 

Consciously grieving heals these wounds and builds trust in yourself to handle life’s inevitable changes. 

Over time, this leads to healthier connections. When we share our grief openly, we connect with others as we discover that grief is a universal process of humanity. Expressing our experience of this collective vulnerability can invite deeper healing and build new connections. Everyone experiences loss, we all feel pain at losing at times, understanding that unites us. Share your story with trusted friends or join support groups. Connecting with others reminds you that you’re not alone, as listening and being heard releases emotional burdens. Community nurtures hope and resilience, and being part of communities that embrace grief can help us to grow stronger and more compassionate.

Some believe grief can be fixed with pills or therapy, they might reach out for some sort of end to the process from professionals, or promises of fewer feelings. It is understandable when in the thick of processes we haven't experienced before, and while the right support helps, grief itself must be felt. Medication might numb pain temporarily, but it won’t stop grief from surfacing later. Therapy can teach you emotional skills, but facing loss directly is essential for real healing.

If grief becomes overwhelming or lasts too long, professional help can support deeper healing. Signs include depression that doesn’t lift, anxiety, or inability to function. Holistic approaches often work best when combined with therapy. Focusing on the basics of self-care with nutritious food, grounding walks, and a choice to connect with self can begin a process of recovery. Also simple but effective tools and practices can help, such as:

• Journaling your feelings

• Practising meditation and breathwork

• Using shadow work to explore hidden pain

• Energy healing to release blocked emotions

• Accessing free resources like podcast conversations, our PDF guide and online courses
  

When you allow grief to teach you, your heart begins to open. Forgiveness and compassion grow naturally as grief releases, and you find yourself freer and full of love once again for the experience you had. You learn that loving again does not mean forgetting; we don’t have to deny that the thing or person was important to us, that we cared and loved it. Grieving through to healing means expanding the capacity to love.

Grief clears space within your heart, removing old fears and limitations. Once you can accept loss, love or at least the idea or opened to love can flow again more easily. Practising self-love, setting boundaries, and staying open help this process. Healing isn’t about forgetting. It’s about making room for what’s next, when we are ready. 

Grief is a natural part of loving deeply. It’s an invitation to grow emotionally and spiritually. By feeling and embracing loss, we expand our capacity to love. Letting go of resistance and accepting impermanence opens our hearts and brings true freedom. Remember, grief isn’t an enemy, it’s a divine guide on your journey. Embrace it fully, and let it transform your life into something richer, more compassionate, and more alive.

Further Support

Download the free guide Evolving Through Grief to support a conscious grieving process.

If you would benefit from a recovery process through grief using life design tools, we recommend the bundle Recovery By Design. Learn how to consider next steps, create a strategy to reconnect with yourself and build a life renewed after grief.  

Watch the Love Fools Podcast: Grief, Love & Recovery. 

I also recommend the following podcast episodes: