Self-Validation, Why it's Important & How to Do It!

Our minds should always be working for us. A tool to figure out the best, next step. A logical, strategic friend. Our cheerleader, best friend, coach and guide. When we aren't taught how to master our minds this way, we can begin to think or believe we are our mind as it turns against us.

When we forget there is an awareness beyond the mind. That emotions are part of our body and separate from our thoughts and thinking. When we have been conditioned or have trained ourselves to ignore our instincts and overanalyse the things outside of our control; we can become lost, confused and unwell.

In our modern world of information, science, data and over-analysis, with instant worldwide communication at our fingertips, we are swimming in a sea of conflicting advice. No matter what answer you're searching for, you can always find opposing versions of truth. This data says that, this experiment proves the other. It's no wonder we are mentally confused and exhausted.

But amongst all the noise we can learn to quiet, master and reprogramme our mind to be used as it was intended. To support us.

To begin this endeavour, self-awareness and meditation are key. We must separate ourselves from our mind. Understand the consciousness behind our thinking and learn to observe. A clear mind can become a channel for knowledge and a calm nervous system a beacon for truth.

The way we do that is by separating our mind from our emotions, affirming what we know to be right and true, and choosing how we want to be and who we are. And then living within those choices.

Making a change like this is not easy. As we try to change our overactive, critical monkey mind can and will try to sabotage us!

When we have done the foundational work to support and understand ourselves better, it is possible to erase these old habits of our mind and instead choose to self-validate our experiences and new choices. 

Self-validation is approving of ourselves. Being supportive of our decisions, and understanding of ourselves. Showing ourselves empathy and compassion. Encouraging us to grow, change or mature; affirming we can evolve and heal.

Self-validation in its purest sense is not an ego boost... although it may seem so initially and it might even begin that way. Self-validation is allowing the mind to reflect our truest self and deepest understanding of our innate worth and value in the world. Providing us with an unlimited resource of nurture and protection. A channel of love, appreciation, respect and wisdom.

This is a process of relearning. Letting go of conditioned ideas or corrupt education models that lock us into wrong thinking. Those ingrained ideas deteriorate our self-worth as we are taught to obey authority, give away our power, memorise and recall, focus on goals rather than growth, compete and compare.

Humans innately know what is right and wrong, for us. We deeply understand this. When we go against this understanding the stress and confusion it causes for us can allow us to be led down the path of destruction and self-sabotage the monkey mind would take us.

The media conditions us to desire popularity. Our peers warp us into models of likeability and people-pleasing as we lose ourselves in the process. A self-validating mind doesn't need this. It has boundaries of self-respect and only allows considered action or aligned company.

We can learn for ourselves by doing the research ourselves, not just trusting the word of a stranger online or a neighbour down the street. By asking questions, being present, and having real experiences. We learn as we live and choosing to live in line with what is important to us is how we begin to know, not just think but know what works for us and what does not.

Self-validation is beyond a gimmick of self care or social appeasing. To be able to self-validate, especially when we have, are and know we are doing the best we can, are willing to learn and be open to accountability for our mistakes is the inbuilt guidance system that forms our integrity.

Regardless of the fleeting and temporary opinions of others, we the only witness to our lives, know the truth. We know what our reality dictates is right and good or helpful for us to know, to think, know or understand.

The power of self-validation can only come from ourselves and our quest for mental liberation. Even the conditions of our supportive parents ultimately need to be lifted from our sense of self-respect and awareness

To find this state of mind we must know what we value. Respect what we do and have done regarding our choices, decisions and the actions we have made. Be able to love, honour and forgive ourselves as we learn and grow.

Mistakes, criticism and challenges are inevitable in life. Until we learn to have our own form of support, ingrained in our self-conditioned mind, those experiences can be excruciating. Mistakes become weights around our necks rather than cherished nuggets of wisdom and truth.

Self-validation is the reflection of our truest self and deepest soul reflected and channelled in our mind. The voice of the almighty authenticity of the innate nature and fullest potential of what we were designed to become.

If you would like to improve your emotional intelligence and practice separating your thoughts from feelings and understand what causes us to respond from the external world, download our free I Think, I Feel, I Observe PDF!

If you would like to begin a process of learning how to self-validate and relearn to be self-approving we would recommend the following courses, programmes and support here at Love School. 

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